Welcome to my Brain. Please watch your step.

Thursday, November 25, 2004


I realized today that criticizing something is fun, and sometimes funny. However, one should also find a solution to life's problems.

In the past I opined on the idiocy of people's answering machine messages, so I did a quick search on Google and found the following, I read the first few and thought they were funny. So, there you go.

This is Joe signing off.

Turkey Day!!!

Today I went snowboarding, I did pretty good but I hurt, a lot. So I am typing a grand total of about 25 WPM. Yah. Right now I'm watching fear factor, just got done taking an hour long hot bath, and it's about time to eat. Life is good right now. While chatting on mIRC there were these people talking about "all your base are belong to us." Now I know this isn't proper grammar but it's because it's this old NES video game that was translated from Japanese to English, so it's pretty funny. Like the Star Wars Kid it's become a really popular thing across the internet. So go ahead and check it out here - Some people just walked in for dinner so I'm now going to greet them.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Random Links

In Los Angeles, California I was told that there was a Soda Pop Museum you can go to to try all of the different kinds of sodas all over the world. "But how many different types of sodas can there really be?," you ask. Well check it out and you'll be surprised.

Also, if you've ever read "To Kill a Mockingbird" or haven't and you ever had to do a book report on it, here is a great way to get the story down. Seriously, check it out.

And finally, if you've ever wondered how blind people search the internet check this out.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004


I thought I'd put in some funny websites for those of you who visit my blog.

As we get together with friends and family to eat at thanksgiving we often think of America's celebrity "do it yourself" mother, Martha Stewart. However, lately she has been getting the raw deal. If any of you thought that maybe the world came down a little too hard on Martha Stewart you can sign a petition that will be sent to President Bush so he can pardon her. Also, there's the Save Martha website, where you can get your very own Save Martha T-Shirt bound to become popular until her release on March 6, 2005.

For a flash video on a personal favorite website which includes dancing badgers, a mushroom, and OHH a snake!!!

Incase I don't update until after thanksgiving here's something to keep you all busy on thanksgiving day. Sonic the Hedghog in a easy to use flash format. I have to say it's very impressive. Just click the "Click here to view this title" and you're set.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Learn Yiddish with Dick and Jane

I was goofing around the internet as usual and I found this flash from this book I saw in the comedy section at Barnes 'n Nobles.

Learn Yiddish with Dick and Jane - It's pretty funny. Well, now I have to Schlep to school.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Homestar Runner

Linked here is the funniest website on the internet. Make sure you go to strongbad's emails.

Strongbad's emails is a section of Homestar runner where people can e-mail Strongbad and he answers their e-mails in the most ridiculously. You have to watch at least three to start getting an understanding of the humor. This online cartoon has truly turned into a cult classic.

You might not get it at first, but keep watching and it will all start to make sense...

Thursday, November 18, 2004


So anyways, I go to work on Tuesday to find out that, "Through much 'discussion' and after close 'investigation' that I was to be terminated effective immediately." If you're wondering where I was working it was at Countrywide Home Loans as a debt collector, or as they would call us "Loan Counselors." Mainly we harassed people for not making there mortgage payments on the first of every month. I hated the job, it paid well but it wasn't worth calling and bothering people at 9 o'clock at night. So they demanded that I hand over my badge. I asked why they were firing me and they told me because of "Inappropriate conduct." Then I asked what was it that I was doing that was so "inappropriate." They told me that I was seen throwing a piece of paper at someone last week.

Yes, you read right. Throwing a piece of paper! - PAPER. If you can imagine, my face contortioned into a grimace of confusion, I quickly denied and told them that I didn't recall ever throwing a piece of paper at someone last week. I asked on what day last week and they couldn't tell me. I asked at whom and they couldn't tell me. All they said was that someone in management saw me throwing a piece of paper at someone else last week. So I thought to myself, "I'm being fired for throwing a piece of paper on an undetermined day at an undetermined person. This is ridiculous!" Yes folks, it was. However Christine Hall (the person doing the terminating) didn't expect me to say what I was thinking. So I told her, "I'm being fired for throwing a piece of paper on an undetermined day at an undetermined person?" Then I said, "Where is my written notification and my 30 day probation period that is supposed to take place before an involuntary termination." Probably stunned by my quick touché, or my knowledge about company policies, she quickly became very defensive sliding an envelope towards me on her polished table top she snarled, "Here's you're written notice." Feeling as if fighting a battle that I could not win I took off my badge and handed over to a gentleman who was also present in the meeting. He told me that he would accompany me to my desk to gather my things.

After thinking long and hard about why I probably was really fired a couple things popped up in my mind that could be why I was truly fired. One, that I openly professed that part-time countrywide employees should create a union amongst ourselves to protect us from having our hours cut again. Or secondly, that I opened up a window by asking why employees haven't been receiving their retroactive pay when they got their monthly raises for the past 4 months. But for whatever the reason I know that there was a purpose for my termination. I spoke to my father who is an attorney who told me that I could sue and probably win but shouldn't waste my time and just find another job and finish school. I took that advice and I'm just letting it go.

So here lies my quest to search out employment once again....but countrywide can pay me through unemployment until I find another job. Hehehe

Monday, November 15, 2004

Need an essay quick?

Try this essay generator.

Just type in the topic and you're set.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Answering Machines

-Who are these people who thinks it’s sooooo cute to have their 4 year old leave the answering machine greeting the only people that thinks this is a good idea are the parents. Never minding the fact that there will be people calling who won’t think it’s cute. Most people calling just want to leave the message, not sit forever listening to a mumbling child. Who knows who's calling? It could be that job you’re trying to get but now they’re going to reconsider. “Who is this kid,” they say. “Nobody knows what he’s saying,” and you know the kid doesn’t even know what he’s saying cause you’ve got the parents in the background whispering. It’s like I want to shout to the parents, “YOU’RE ALREADY SAYING THE WORDS, WHY DON’T YOU LEAVE IT YOURSELF! Yah I know, but then it wouldn’t be cute. Sure.

-Then you got those guys whose answering machines go like this, “Hello. Hello? I can’t hear you, hello? Oh I’m not here right now leave a message "This is the most frustrating out of all of them. I don’t understand why it’s funny, there was no damage to any property, and nobody’s mom was made fun of, the guy who set up the answering machine doesn’t get to see the torment he’s putting the other guy in. So IT’S NOT FUNNY. In fact it’s annoying. Think of all the professionals that call you, all the normal people in the world, or people that don’t know you. They all think, “Oh man that was original. That’s the first time I heard that.” Admittedly, it was funny the first time I heard it done maybe 3 years ago, but people are still doing it! So here it is----STOP! ---NOW!

-The next type of answering machine I think everyone is a victim of. This person totally ignores the fact that it is 2004 and the general population knows that you are not home, because you didn’t answer the phone, and after the beep we should leave our name, number, a brief message, and I’m sure when you get the message you’re not going to neglect it so I will assume that you will get back to me as soon as you can….I think I’ve said enough about that….

Friday, November 12, 2004

Blog Started

Today my friend Eric and I were standing around with his girlfriend Megan, who looks just like a Japanimation cartoon, were like, "Dude, Joe, you should put your thoughts on the internet on your own blog so people could read your funny stuff." I was like, "Ok"....

So this marks the first posting of "Inside Joe's Head." Enjoy.

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