Answering Machines

-Who are these people who thinks it’s sooooo cute to have their 4 year old leave the answering machine greeting the only people that thinks this is a good idea are the parents. Never minding the fact that there will be people calling who won’t think it’s cute. Most people calling just want to leave the message, not sit forever listening to a mumbling child. Who knows who's calling? It could be that job you’re trying to get but now they’re going to reconsider. “Who is this kid,” they say. “Nobody knows what he’s saying,” and you know the kid doesn’t even know what he’s saying cause you’ve got the parents in the background whispering. It’s like I want to shout to the parents, “YOU’RE ALREADY SAYING THE WORDS, WHY DON’T YOU LEAVE IT YOURSELF! Yah I know, but then it wouldn’t be cute. Sure.

-Then you got those guys whose answering machines go like this, “Hello. Hello? I can’t hear you, hello? Oh I’m not here right now leave a message "This is the most frustrating out of all of them. I don’t understand why it’s funny, there was no damage to any property, and nobody’s mom was made fun of, the guy who set up the answering machine doesn’t get to see the torment he’s putting the other guy in. So IT’S NOT FUNNY. In fact it’s annoying. Think of all the professionals that call you, all the normal people in the world, or people that don’t know you. They all think, “Oh man that was original. That’s the first time I heard that.” Admittedly, it was funny the first time I heard it done maybe 3 years ago, but people are still doing it! So here it is----STOP! ---NOW!

-The next type of answering machine I think everyone is a victim of. This person totally ignores the fact that it is 2004 and the general population knows that you are not home, because you didn’t answer the phone, and after the beep we should leave our name, number, a brief message, and I’m sure when you get the message you’re not going to neglect it so I will assume that you will get back to me as soon as you can….I think I’ve said enough about that….