Upgrading from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife1.0

Dear Technical Support Team,
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker night 2.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday
Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while running my other
favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the un-install does not work on this program.

Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks, Joe


Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the
system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0
is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding general partnership faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their
cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return
to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.

TECHNICAL SUPPORT TEAM UPGRADING FROM GIRLFRIEND