Shopping!

I tried to go Shopping today. I had to pull my L.A. driving skills. Maneuvering around vehicles is my main skill, aside from my super strength. After spending a grip of time finding a parking spot I ran into the mall to find a sea of people. It was almost as worse then that time the children of Israel left Egypt. As I entered Victoria Secret to purchase presents for my, ehhem, mom and my girlfriend I was thinking, I hope nobody sees me. The mall that day was pretty much a family/high school/college/friend reunion, so someone was bound to see me in there. I bought some lotions and junk. Leaving the parking lot was interesting. It took me 30 minutes from my parking spot to an actual road. It is a wierd land, the parking lot. A land ruled by SUV's and angry black women. Sign language is the most prevelent form of communication. Most common word seems to be an extension of one of the fingers. I don't know why but Christmas is more worse than any evil villian could have conjured up. Maybe, that's how it happened. Maybe, St. Nick wasn't a Saint at all...I found this photo:

Maybe it was the Catholics? That new pope guy kind of looks like a Sith Lord anyways.



So, there you have it, whether it was Santa or the Catholics, Christmas is evil. Well, not the part about Christ being born. Just the part about Santa, the deranged consumers, and the Catholics. Oh and Dolly Parton.

Christmas turns calm nice people into raging beasts. I even took a picture



Maybe it's something in the air. I'll have to study this a little more. Maybe it's an age old secret. It's probably like a Tootsie Pop, "The world may never know." I should stop babbling. So, today I successfully purchased a Christmas present. Yeah, just one. Can't figure out what to get my mom. But I got Betty something.

I braved the mob of ruthlessly engraged pons of a capitalistic society for lotions and smelly waters. I think I'll just go to Walmart when I get off work tonight at 12am. Shoppers during Christmas