Welcome to my Brain. Please watch your step.

Friday, December 31, 2004

New Developments...

I haven't written lately about my personal life. I've been analyzing and waiting, didn't want to write too soon. Since the Christmas Banquet I've really gotten to know Betty. I realized how comfortable I was with her, and how much I like to be with her. You're probably asking, "So, do you like her?" I hesitated to write about her because I wanted to give that question an answer. I wanted to be able to write a "Yes" or "No." Since this Blog to me is an online journal/news/information hub for my friends and strangers I didn't want to just jump to conclusions.

I have tried and failed with some relationships; I think I might have tried to hard to make things work with some people. However, this is different. Why is it different? Because it just happened, it wasn't forced, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was like trying to jamb the square into the circle slot all my life and then finally realizing that the square hole was in front of me the whole time and that it was the right slot. So, the answer to the question above, "Do I like Betty?" I have to say that the answer is yes. It wasn't an emotional decision for me, rather a logical one. We both get along, we both have fun together, and we connect on so many different levels. We don't have just one thing in common but multiple things. After the "logical" part of it fell into place the "emotional" part came. I like being with her, I found myself physically attracted to her or, as Bro. Weaver would put it, "romantically" attracted to her. "So what then?" Well, I told her. Probably the hardest thing I had to do. I actually feared rejection. This hasn't happened. Sure I never liked it and I avoided it like any other guy. However this time I feared it. Well, I got the nerve and I told her, and she said that the feeling was mutual. GREAT! She told me that there were some things that I needed to do first. One of those things was to read two books: Dating with Purpose by Dr. Jack Schaap and Christian Dating by Mike Ray. Mike Ray is her Pastor in Napa Valley, he pastors Hopewell Baptist Church. The second was to talk to five people: Her Pastor, Father, Step-father, brother, and Bro. Weaver (Dean of Men at WCBC). I was ok with this. In fact, I agreed with 100%. Why not? This should be a serious thing. I also talked to some people, I talked to Bro. Schmidt, Bro. Whitman (he led me to the Lord), and Bro. Weaver.

For Christmas she was supposed to go to her brother's house but because the trains weren't running she had no where to go. So I convinced her to come to my house and meet my family and share Christmas at my house. She met my mom and my dad and they loved her. We hung out quite a bit and just talked. It was awesome. Today, she went to talk to Mrs. Weaver about me. Please understand that Mrs. Weaver is a mother figure to Betty. Betty lost her mom when she was a kid so she gets a lot of direction and guidance from Mrs. Weaver. Mrs. Weaver is an awesome person who "tells it like it is." One of the reasons why I highly respect her and Bro. Weaver. Well, Mrs. Weaver, being concerned about Betty's well-being and Mrs. Weaver not really knowing me sort of gave Betty the impression that it was not a good idea to date me. The response than neither me nor no Betty wanted to hear. I did expect it though; I don't have the greatest reputation at college because I don't really hang out there or know a lot of people there. As my dad once told me, "Persons are smart but people are stupid." If people don't know you they make up stuff to fill the void, or judge you some other way. Not once, not twice, but multiple times people have come up to Betty and told her that she shouldn't date me, funny how none of them have a legitimate reason good thing Betty doesn't listen to them, that's one of the reasons why I like her.

What Mrs. Weaver told Betty was a little upsetting, not to just her but to me. While I was reassuring her that it would be alright her voice was cracking, I could tell that she was disturbed. I told her that I wasn't perfect and that I'm still growing and coming to understand some things and Betty got up and said that she was going to go practice playing the piano and walked out. I just sat there saying to myself oh man I'm an idiot. Didn't know what to do. I talked to Bro. Schmidt and he reassured me that everything was to be alright, it was just that Mrs. Weaver didn't know me all that well, and that Pastor Chappell, Dr. R, Dr. Goetsch, himself believed that I was responsible enough to go pastor some teenagers in Visalia then it makes no sense to say I'm not responsible enough to date. He also said that Pastor Chappell, Bro. Whitman, Bro. Weaver, and he thought it was a great idea to date Betty then I shouldn't worry about anything too much. I still feel unnerved, I'm not for sure if Mrs. Weaver has talked to Betty yet or if everything’s been put back together (it really wasn't broke), Betty just respects Mrs. Weaver's opinion and wants to get an the ok from her which is totally commendable.

I called Betty at work and she answered but told me that she was busy and couldn't talk and hung up. Kind of unusual for her, she always puts me on hold for what seems like a decade and then comes back to me. This made me feel even more worried, but she called me back and left a voicemail hoping that I was having a good day and that everything was going alright. I still don't know what to think of all this, we were trying to get a trip to see her family tomorrow for New Years approved but I won't know about anything until tonight when she gets off work and I'll have a chance to talk with her face to face.


Post a Comment

<< Home

free page hit counter