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Monday, January 24, 2005

Drug Test

By far the weirdest thing that has happened to me yet this year, (Remember it's only been 24 days) is the drug test that I just had to take. I walk into this place and sign my name and this nurse tells me to sit down. She comes back with some stuff and I'm told that I have to take a urine test. I thought they were going to poke me with a needle or something. So I start to follow her and she tells me to empty my pockets so I give them to Eric, who is there with me. He is happy to hold my wallet too. Then the nurse went inside the restroom with me, this was awkward and gave me instructions. She said that she needed me to fill the cup this much and fill it to a certain limit, and then she asked me if I could do it. Keeping a straight face, which was very difficult, I said that I indeed could. While she was squirting this thick blue stuff into the toilet she told me that I couldn't flush the toilet and when I was done that I couldn't wash my hands. The first time in my life when someone, let alone a women, told me not to flush the toilet and wash my hands when I'm done. So I did it, walked out, gave her the vial containing my bodily fluids. I think I would feel more comfortable if it was a man, but somehow I felt awkward handing my pee in a cup to a woman. It was like I was giving her this cup and saying in a 10-year-old voice, "Here is my pee, can you let me know if it's ok?" She made me sign a whole bunch of paperwork and then told me that I could wash my hands. I was thinking about the pen that I used to sign-in initially, and the untold millions that used it and weren't allowed to wash there hands. When I came back out to the waiting room where Eric was Eric asked me in a loud tone, "So did everything come out ok?" He laughed at my embarrassment and we left. I hope I never have to do that again.


Blogger Sarah said...

I hate drug tests! The first time I had to have one I sent to the hospital where my dad works. The nurses all knew me and my dad came up to see me. Well it turned out I was "pee shy". I couldn't go knowing they were all out there waiting for me to pee. Then I didn't pee enough and had to continue to drink more liquids until I could. Not one of my most fondest memories. Ha!

1/24/2005 07:25:00 PM

Blogger Joe said...

I think it's an awkward situation for anybody. In fact, there's probably something wrong with the person that actually enjoys it.

1/24/2005 07:40:00 PM


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